FAQs
What do you actually do in sex therapy?
Sex therapy involves talking to a therapist who has expertise in sexuality, intimacy and sexual health. Sex therapy can be completed both with individuals and/or couples. Sex therapists do not touch you or perform any sexual acts. Sex therapy is based on an open conversation, in a safe and non-judgmental space.
The difference between sex therapy and other types of therapy is that with sex therapy your therapist is trained and experienced in talking about sex, sexuality, and intimacy in an comfortable manner. The hope and goal would be to invite individuals and/or couples to feel that same comfort, to share topics we often are too nervous to talk about, to help us find a language, and deeper understanding of one’s sexuality.
What if I’m embarrassed to talk about certain things?
Generally, our culture does not support conversations around sex and intimacy. This can lead to a feeling of shame and guilt when discussing sexual issues. It is essential to create a non-judgmental and safe place to discuss intimacy issues. I will work alongside you, at your pace, to address your concerns. You will never be forced to talk about anything that you do not wish to address.
What will the therapist think of me?
I have experience talking about a wide variety of sexual topics ranging from fetishes to out-of-control sexual behavior. Common topics include pornography, infidelity, sexual challenges, and low sexual desire. I will be able to talk about such issues in a professional, scientific manner without judgment.
Part of our training involves attending a Sexual Attitude Reassessment (SAR) training. This training is comprehensive and attempts to capture the human spectrum of sex and sexuality. It is designed to help therapists learn, cultivate sex-positivity, and be aware of their own bias in an effort to never hurt (e.g. judge/shame) their clients.
What happens at our first session?
Therapeutic fit is essential. For clients who have never seen a therapist before, it is really important for them to know that much of the therapeutic outcomes rest on the relationship with one’s therapist. This concept should be talked about openly and clients should feel empowered to share their concerns or needs with their therapist. The first session is an opportunity to discuss therapeutic goals, understand reasons for seeking treatment, and review the therapeutic process. Concurrently, client(s) and their therapist can get to know each other, and determine if the therapist would be a good fit for them. Ultimately, therapy is for the client(s). If the therapeutic fit doesn’t seem like a good match a referral can be provided.
What is considered a sexual dysfunction or sexual issues?
The word dysfunction often carries a stigma or an overwhelming feeling of defeat. Often clients withhold their challenges for many years prior to seeking support and treatment. During this time, strained relationships, low self-esteem, and sexual shame often become present. Taking a sex positive approach acknowledges sexual health concerns as an important topic to address and at a pace that feels right for the client(s).
Sex therapy often addresses concerns about, but not limited to:
Arousal concerns
Body Image or physical changes
Gender identity
Grief Loss
Infidelity and trust related concerns
Issues pertaining to desire (low, high, mixed)
Out of control sexual behavior
Sexual performance concerns
Sexual orientation
Sexual trauma
Sexual shame
Do Sex Therapists Only Work with Sexuality Issues?
Some do, some don’t. I practice with the awareness we are biological, psychosocial, sexual, and spiritual beings. Therefore, to only work on sexual issues seems a bit limiting. With that said, there are limited trained sex therapists in our community, so I attempt to use this specialty to support those struggling with their sexuality and intimacy concerns.
What’s the difference between traditional relational therapy for sexual concerns and sex therapy for couples with sexual concerns?
Another way to state this question would be “Can a traditional couples therapist work on sex related issues?” Of course. However, often times traditional couples therapy focuses on many aspects of the relationship and on occasion discusses sexual related concerns. In sex therapy for couples, not only do we work on the many aspects of a relationship, but we also directly address sexual related concerns, and discuss tools/techniques that may assist the couple in their sexual relationship.
It is also important to note, that many graduate programs do not provide extensive training around sexual related concerns. When working with a certified sex therapist their are additional educational credits, courses and continuing education requirements to promote optimal therapeutic results.
Does A Sex Therapist Have Sex With Their Clients?
No! This is illegal and unethical. A sex therapist will not touch you, or have expectations of a sexual relationship with you. While sex therapy often includes the explicit discussion of sexual material, and the interventions offered are often sexual in nature they are to be explored in the privacy of one’s home with one’s-self or one’s partner. There will never be any form of sexual interaction with the therapist.
How many sessions do people usually need with sex therapy?
During our first therapy session, we work together to determine a treatment plan or at least come to a greater understanding of what brought you to therapy. Some people or couples require only a few sessions while others may require more attention and support. We will work together to understand what best suits your needs.
Can a sex therapist work with teens and young adults?
Of course. Talking about sex with a youth can be challenging. Sadly, sex is stigmatized and often portrayed as a negative or shameful topic. This leads to poor education, misunderstandings, and leaves youth without the proper tools and education to navigate a sexualized world.
With the emerging use of social media and the easy availability of porn, having a youth visit a therapist and being given permission to talk about their sexual health is becoming more essential. Ideally, parents/trusted adults can shepherd this task, but they too can be burdened with shame and thus find themselves challenged.
Humans are sexual beings. Teens are beginning to see their sexuality emerge and deserve a space to understand their sexual selves.
If I could teach one thing to a teen, it would be the term consent. The true concept that their body is THEIR body. Youth need to be empowered to recognize their own “yes” to combat the pressures of social media, peer pressure, and the like.
In therapy, teens can learn to express their sexuality safely and gain important insight about themselves that empower them to feel in-control of their sexual selves.
Can you refer me if I have a medical issue relating to sexual health?
The best treatment approach when it comes to sexual health is a collaborative model of therapy. Medical professionals and therapists should work together in an effort to support our clients.
If medical consultation or consultation with other sexuality professionals is necessary, we can discuss the best approach to suit your needs. For some this may mean a consultation with a gynecologist, pelvic floor specialist or other provider to explore issues relating to sexual pain or inadequate lubrication. For others, this may include consulting with a urologist to discuss problems with the prostate, genital blood flow, testosterone levels or other genital functioning.
Sex therapy involves talking to a therapist who has expertise in sexuality, intimacy and sexual health. Sex therapy can be completed both with individuals and/or couples. Sex therapists do not touch you or perform any sexual acts. Sex therapy is based on an open conversation, in a safe and non-judgmental space.
The difference between sex therapy and other types of therapy is that with sex therapy your therapist is trained and experienced in talking about sex, sexuality, and intimacy in an comfortable manner. The hope and goal would be to invite individuals and/or couples to feel that same comfort, to share topics we often are too nervous to talk about, to help us find a language, and deeper understanding of one’s sexuality.
What if I’m embarrassed to talk about certain things?
Generally, our culture does not support conversations around sex and intimacy. This can lead to a feeling of shame and guilt when discussing sexual issues. It is essential to create a non-judgmental and safe place to discuss intimacy issues. I will work alongside you, at your pace, to address your concerns. You will never be forced to talk about anything that you do not wish to address.
What will the therapist think of me?
I have experience talking about a wide variety of sexual topics ranging from fetishes to out-of-control sexual behavior. Common topics include pornography, infidelity, sexual challenges, and low sexual desire. I will be able to talk about such issues in a professional, scientific manner without judgment.
Part of our training involves attending a Sexual Attitude Reassessment (SAR) training. This training is comprehensive and attempts to capture the human spectrum of sex and sexuality. It is designed to help therapists learn, cultivate sex-positivity, and be aware of their own bias in an effort to never hurt (e.g. judge/shame) their clients.
What happens at our first session?
Therapeutic fit is essential. For clients who have never seen a therapist before, it is really important for them to know that much of the therapeutic outcomes rest on the relationship with one’s therapist. This concept should be talked about openly and clients should feel empowered to share their concerns or needs with their therapist. The first session is an opportunity to discuss therapeutic goals, understand reasons for seeking treatment, and review the therapeutic process. Concurrently, client(s) and their therapist can get to know each other, and determine if the therapist would be a good fit for them. Ultimately, therapy is for the client(s). If the therapeutic fit doesn’t seem like a good match a referral can be provided.
What is considered a sexual dysfunction or sexual issues?
The word dysfunction often carries a stigma or an overwhelming feeling of defeat. Often clients withhold their challenges for many years prior to seeking support and treatment. During this time, strained relationships, low self-esteem, and sexual shame often become present. Taking a sex positive approach acknowledges sexual health concerns as an important topic to address and at a pace that feels right for the client(s).
Sex therapy often addresses concerns about, but not limited to:
Arousal concerns
Body Image or physical changes
Gender identity
Grief Loss
Infidelity and trust related concerns
Issues pertaining to desire (low, high, mixed)
Out of control sexual behavior
Sexual performance concerns
Sexual orientation
Sexual trauma
Sexual shame
Do Sex Therapists Only Work with Sexuality Issues?
Some do, some don’t. I practice with the awareness we are biological, psychosocial, sexual, and spiritual beings. Therefore, to only work on sexual issues seems a bit limiting. With that said, there are limited trained sex therapists in our community, so I attempt to use this specialty to support those struggling with their sexuality and intimacy concerns.
What’s the difference between traditional relational therapy for sexual concerns and sex therapy for couples with sexual concerns?
Another way to state this question would be “Can a traditional couples therapist work on sex related issues?” Of course. However, often times traditional couples therapy focuses on many aspects of the relationship and on occasion discusses sexual related concerns. In sex therapy for couples, not only do we work on the many aspects of a relationship, but we also directly address sexual related concerns, and discuss tools/techniques that may assist the couple in their sexual relationship.
It is also important to note, that many graduate programs do not provide extensive training around sexual related concerns. When working with a certified sex therapist their are additional educational credits, courses and continuing education requirements to promote optimal therapeutic results.
Does A Sex Therapist Have Sex With Their Clients?
No! This is illegal and unethical. A sex therapist will not touch you, or have expectations of a sexual relationship with you. While sex therapy often includes the explicit discussion of sexual material, and the interventions offered are often sexual in nature they are to be explored in the privacy of one’s home with one’s-self or one’s partner. There will never be any form of sexual interaction with the therapist.
How many sessions do people usually need with sex therapy?
During our first therapy session, we work together to determine a treatment plan or at least come to a greater understanding of what brought you to therapy. Some people or couples require only a few sessions while others may require more attention and support. We will work together to understand what best suits your needs.
Can a sex therapist work with teens and young adults?
Of course. Talking about sex with a youth can be challenging. Sadly, sex is stigmatized and often portrayed as a negative or shameful topic. This leads to poor education, misunderstandings, and leaves youth without the proper tools and education to navigate a sexualized world.
With the emerging use of social media and the easy availability of porn, having a youth visit a therapist and being given permission to talk about their sexual health is becoming more essential. Ideally, parents/trusted adults can shepherd this task, but they too can be burdened with shame and thus find themselves challenged.
Humans are sexual beings. Teens are beginning to see their sexuality emerge and deserve a space to understand their sexual selves.
If I could teach one thing to a teen, it would be the term consent. The true concept that their body is THEIR body. Youth need to be empowered to recognize their own “yes” to combat the pressures of social media, peer pressure, and the like.
In therapy, teens can learn to express their sexuality safely and gain important insight about themselves that empower them to feel in-control of their sexual selves.
Can you refer me if I have a medical issue relating to sexual health?
The best treatment approach when it comes to sexual health is a collaborative model of therapy. Medical professionals and therapists should work together in an effort to support our clients.
If medical consultation or consultation with other sexuality professionals is necessary, we can discuss the best approach to suit your needs. For some this may mean a consultation with a gynecologist, pelvic floor specialist or other provider to explore issues relating to sexual pain or inadequate lubrication. For others, this may include consulting with a urologist to discuss problems with the prostate, genital blood flow, testosterone levels or other genital functioning.